Ozark: 10 Quotes That Are Actually Really Funny

The Netflix crime drama Ozark can be quite dark at times, with unexpected deaths and last-minute plot twists. At the same time, there is a shade of deadpan humor underlying the writing throughout the series. Whether it be Ruth’s loud insults or Marty Byrde’s sarcastic remarks, Ozark can actually be quite funny in this regard.

The humor doesn’t follow an “in your face” approach but rather is smart and subtle. In some cases, even scenes evoking violence and fear can evoke humor in a twisted sense. With such dark comedic overtones, Ozark is comparable to other thrillers filled with dry humor, such as Better Call Saul and Fargo.

Ruth Langmore

“I Don’t Know S— About F—.”

Ruth Langmore is arguably one of the best Ozark characters due to her bravery and honesty. Despite her short temper, she is very straightforward when it comes to dropping truth bombs. This quote shows that she can be honest not just about others but also about herself.

When Marty tries to get Ruth to join his money-laundering operations for her street-smartness, Ruth just confesses that she doesn’t know anything in her typical verbally explicit manner. “I don’t know s— about f—” became a relatable quote for many fans and went on to appear in several Ozark memes.

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Mel Sattem

“I Am Looking For A Signature.”

Mel standing by his car looking at something in a scene from Ozark.

A new character introduced in the latest season, Mel Sattem is a cop-turned-investigator who is sent to the Ozarks to uncover the mystery behind Helen Pierce’s disappearance. However, because of Helen’s criminal connections, no one at the Ozarks is ready to disclose any information. Neither are the Byrdes cooperative for their own connection to Helen’s murder.

It is both sad and funny to see Mel desperately looking for answers. As he is sent by Helen’s ex-husband, he just needs a signature from the important people in town agreeing that they know about her whereabouts or possible disappearance. “I am looking for a signature” is a quote that recurs over and over showing Mel’s desperation with tones of bleak tragicomedy.

Marty Byrde

“I’m So Sorry For Your Loss, But I Am Going To Ask You To Leave.”

Marty Byrde looking sideways in Ozark

To cover up his illegal activities, Marty has a few side-businesses such as running a funeral home. But on one chaotic day, he needs to empty the funeral house even if it means kicking out a grieving widower. In his frank and direct tone, Marty makes his intentions clear and urges the old man to go out with a 15-25% discount.

The deadpan energy is strong with this scene. Actor Jason Bateman’s dialogue delivery even seems to be reminiscent of his character in Arrested Development, another show in which he is caught up in tumultuous situations and must save the day.

Sam Dermody

“Do You Make Paella?”

Sam standing at a counter in Ozark

The bumbling Sam Dermondy is used as a pawn by both Byrdes and Ruth for their own selfish means. Serving as the receptionist of Ruth’s new motel, he talks to the celebrity chef Kerry Stone. The motel guest is still recovering from a drug relapse and is in no mood to talk. And yet Sam inquires about a paella recipe.

The uninterested Kerry’s reaction is also hilarious but what makes Sam’s inquisitive quote funny is the sheer randomness. As this scene follows the aforementioned relapse, the general atmosphere of the show is grim. And then comes Sam with his cheery personality, asking about a paella recipe. Moments like these feature significant supporting characters on Ozark and offer viewers a light breather away from the show’s overall chaos.

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Marty Byrde

“Hypothetically, On A Scale Of One To 10, How Difficult Would It Be For Someone To Disappear?”

Jason Bateman as Marty Byrde riding a car in Ozark

This quote by Marty appears in the pilot episode of Ozark and perfectly sums up the core themes of the series. Ever since he moved into the Ozarks and got his family involved in money laundering, Marty has been having constant back-up plans to escape in case chaos ensues.

What’s funnier than the quote is the calm way in which Marty says it. Despite exploring uncharted territories and being an amateur in the world of crime, Marty is ready to base his next move on hypothetical situations.

Jonah Byrde

“If We Survive The Night, Are We Still Grounded?”

Jonah from Ozark holding a gun, looking scared.

Having tumultuous nights is nothing new for the Byrdes. On one such night, Jonah jokes about survival, asking if he would still be grounded if they survive.

Despite the dangers that he is exposed to at a young age, Jonah is unfazed by his parents’ criminal activities. The deadpan humor in Ozark’s writing is so on point that even the children reflect a blunt sense of sarcasm. This quote only bears further testimony to this fact.

Omar Navarro

“Today… Well, Today Is Our Beginning.”

Omar hugging Wendy and Marty in Ozark

Helen’s murder in the Season 3 finale came absolutely out of the blue. While the bloodshed is shocking, the drug kingpin Omar Navarro’s sudden embrace and the Byrde’s traumatized expressions is comedic gold for fans of dark humor. It easily makes for one of Ozark’s most iconic scenes.

Omar is seemingly unaffected and simply says that this moment marks a new step in their partnership. His calm attitude is what contrasts with the violence and adds a twisted sense of humor. Hence, more than the quote, what is funny is the sudden nature of the situation and Omar’s ability to maintain his calm.

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Ruth Langmore

“If I Was Kidding, I Would’ve Said You’re Witty And Handsome.”

Frank Jr and Ruth argue outside the casino in Netflix OzarkFrank Jr and Ruth in Netflix Ozark

Frank Cosgrove Jr is an annoying and obnoxious character who causes much trouble to Ruth. But the latter is unfazed by his remarks and instead, replies with such savage comebacks that Cosgrove is dumbstruck. In the course of one deal. Cosgrove thinks Ruth is just kidding with him to which Ruth bluntly comments on his personality and physique.

The absolute bluntness with which Ruth says this quote paired with Cosgrove’s blank response makes for a funny scene in an otherwise-serious show.

Wendy Byrde

“Do Not Be Proud Right Now.”

Wendy and Marty standing together, looking scared on Ozark.

While Jonah Byrde usually tries to be the obedient son of the family, his main character arc changes in Ozark Season 4. The high-schooler ends up running an alternate online money-laundering scheme for Ruth while seeking revenge against his mother. While Marty and Wendy are concerned, the former does feel proud of his son following which Wendy shouts that this is not the time to show fatherly love.

Wendy’s quote plays out in a darkly comic way but it also reveals that Marty might have future aspirations to pass on his criminal empire to Jonah. Marty’s awe mixed with pride is weirdly wholesome. It is also ironic for Wendy to show her concern now even though she has exposed her children to way more traumatic experiences such as her brother’s murder.

Marty Byrde

“If I Want To Put All $7,945,400 Into A Hot Tub, Get Buck Naked And Play Scrooge McDuck, That Is 100% My Business.”

Marty Byrde standing in a bank in Ozark

When Marty asks for a huge sum of money at the bank, the employees grow alert with suspicion. But Marty gets his stake by angrily proclaiming that he can do whatever he wants with the money, comparing himself to even the Disney animated character Scrooge McDuck.

A huge reason for this quote being a fan-favorite is that it proves that even the cool-headed Marty can grow cranky. With his family and crime issues disturbing his mental peace, a bank’s curiosity is the last thing to expect. So, Marty clearly doesn’t hold back with his outburst drawing chuckles.

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