Kerry Washington is getting candid about her mental health.
In a new interview with Robin Roberts for a 20/20 In an interview set to debut on Sunday, the 46-year-old actress shared that she had thought about suicide while battling an eating disorder.
A preview of the interview broadcast on Good morning america on Thursday (September 21).
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She explained that by the time she started college, her relationship with food and her body had “become a toxic cycle of self-abuse that used the tools of hunger, binge eating, body obsession, and compulsive exercise.”
“I could feel like the abuse was a way to really hurt me, like I didn’t want to be here,” Kerry said. “It scared me that I couldn’t want to be here because I was in so much pain.”
When asked if she had thought about suicide, the Scandal The star responded: “Yes. Yes… The behavior was small acts of trying to destroy myself.”
“The first thing that brought me to my knees, like the first time I knelt down and prayed to a power greater than myself to say, ‘I can’t do this, I need help,’ was the way I ate. mess,” she continued.
“I was good at performing ‘perfectly.’ He was good at controlling. “I could party all night, drink, smoke, have sex and still show up and get good grades,” Kerry said. “I knew how to manage; I was so high functioning and food brought me out. The body dysmorphia, the body hatred, was beyond my control and really led me to feel, ‘I need help for someone or something bigger than me because I’m in trouble and I don’t know how to fix it.’ live with this.’”
She went on to say that while she is in a much better place now, she still has to “check myself.”
“I wouldn’t say I never misbehave with food, it’s just very different now,” he said. “It’s not to the extreme. There is no suicidal ideation, I’m not there anymore. But I know, ‘Oh, I’m really interested in this chocolate, this is good information for me.’ The bottom has become much higher and just a little discomfort is enough to know that this is a way of controlling me. But it definitely looks a lot healthier. It’s much easier. He’s a lot more sensible than he used to be.”
As for why he decided to speak openly about his struggles, Kerry said he feels there is a “purpose” in discussing it publicly.
“I never wanted to share my private life for fame or attention,” he shared.
Earlier this summer, Kerry revealed something surprising about her acting career. Find out what she said here.